Counting The Stars
by TheHighQueen
Summary: A series of one shots. Chapter 1: Unable to sleep after a mission, Allen and the rest find themselves musing about the future. In Edo, the Noah find themselves in a similar conversation.
1. Chapter 1

**Aand another one shot.**

 **I don't know why I called it Counting The Stars. Eh...seemed fitting somehow. I just liked the title.**

 **Disclaimer: D. Gray Man isn't mine!**

* * *

Allen really didn't want to be up-it was late, and he really liked his sleep. He, Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda, and Link returned from a mission to China earlier that day. It was a mistake on Komui's part to send Allen somewhere near Edo, but he had no choice. It was a hard mission that required the strongest exorcists.

Of course, being so close to Edo, the Akuma immediately came to capture Allen. It seemed the Earl figured out that Level ones and twos would do nothing against them and started sending Level threes to capture him.

That wouldn't have been _too_ bad, but then came the Noah-Tyki(who he was sure was down for the count) and Jasdero and Devit(Who didn't waste anytime merging into Jasdevi) no less.

To put it clearly, it was a hectic and partially traumatizing mission. Allen was just tired of hearing the AKUMA and Noah try to coax him into willingly coming to their side. He was just sick and tired, but what could he do?

Exorcist or not, he played that piano that day and moved the Noah's sacred relic. It was only natural that they tried to get the newest Noah(if that is what he was, anyway) to their side.

Sighing, Allen sat in a seat in the empty cafeteria, smiling at Link when he set down coffee for him. He didn't particularly care for coffee, but he needed it now more than ever.

"Thank you, for letting me come down here Link." Usually, the inspector would insist on him sleeping, but maybe he could see he was shaken up. Not to mention their was a full length mirror in his room and every time Allen looked in it he flinched. Link could tell something was bothering him.

"I can't have your anxiety mess up my reports, Walker, it may affect your case."

Allen only grinned harder, because that meant Link got worried about him. At first, he couldn't gauge Link but now he pretty much had him down. He was easy to figure out after a while.

"In any case, thanks." Allen said again.

The silence that followed was awkward, and Allen could feel Link's eyes on him. Allen could tell he wanted to ask something-but Allen knew that he was much to polite. Especially when he was so high strung.

"Allen, you're awake?" Allen looked up, seeing Lenalee walking in. She was dragging Kanda by the wrist, signaling that she had a nightmare(or couldn't sleep) and immediately went to Kanda.

Once, Lenalee told Allen that she had frequent nightmares as a child. She was afraid of everyone, and the only one she trusted was Kanda. So, whenever she had a nightmare, she used to wake up Kanda.

The only things surprising about that was that he didn't tell her to leave his room.

"Good evening, Lee, Kanda." Link greeted.

"Hey, Lenalee, Kanda." Allen smiled again.

"You're usually asleep by now, Allen. What's up?" The girl sat beside him, dragging Kanda with her. Lenalee was a good friend in the respect that she worried about him constantly, especially with the investigation. She never stopped worrying, and that led to her noticing small things about him.

She reached out for his hand, "Was it our mission-don't worry it was tough for me too. It must be painful for you, to have them keep telling you that you don't belong here but…" She smiled painfully, "You do! No matter what, you're still our family-not theirs!"

It was the standard speech nearly everybody said to him-everybody that cared anyway.

"I know Lenalee, I know."

"No, I mean it...the things they say scare me. When Tyki kept telling you that you should come be with your real family, I kept thinking 'but he is with us family! Us!' And I was scared that you felt like you didn't belong...you know?" She leaned back.

"When I think about the Order...and trust me some bad memories come up...I remember You, Lavi, Kanda...I think about how precious you all are to me. Nii-San, he's always been my family, by blood and our bond, but...being surrounded by people I love at mission really makes me happy."

Allen smiled, "That's good to hear, you're all my family as well…" She blinked her pretty eyes at him, and smiled sweetly.

"Y'know, when me and Kanda were little-" Kanda grunted at hearing his name, nearly falling asleep on the table. He was awake the moment his name passed her lips, "-we used to tell each other, late at night, what we'd do when the war is over. Back then, since we were young, they used to tell us all the time- the war is almost over."

It was a lie, Allen knew. The war would never be over-with every Noah they killed they just reawakened. The Earl was so strong...and they weren't even sure if he wouldn't just reawaken…

It made him lose faith in the war.

"What will you do, when this is over Allen?" She smiled at him.

 _What will I do?_

 _Huh...that's the second time I've been asked that…and I still don't know..._

"I'll…" Allen was at a loss for words.

"That idiot will probably join a circus...he looks enough like a clown-" Lenalee hit Kanda before he finished, but the damage was down. In the silent cafeteria, Allen burst out into laughter at the irony.

In the war, a lot of the laughter was bitter laughter-mirthless, but it was actually funny.

He hadn't considered it but…

Being a clown had been fun, right? He liked it.

"When I was younger, traveling with Mana, I used to be a clown!" Allen explained after his fit, "It was actually a lot of fun, and I liked it. Being a clown would be really fun…"

He looked at Lenalee, "You?"

Lenalee smiled tenderly, "I'll go back to China," She said, "And I'll open up a bakery that serves European dishes. I'll greet them in English, and I'll serve them cakes and crepes…and you, Kanda, and Lavi will visit me every month!" She smiled at him-although her smile was more demanding, "Right?"

"R-right."

"Kanda?"

"Hm…?"

"What will you do?" Lenalee asked, tapping him. He remained silent for several moments, before answering.

"I'll continue my search."

Although it peaked interest in Allen, Lenalee shoved him.

"You've been saying that since we were children, say something else."

Kanda grunted, "Fine! I'll…" He remained quiet and closed his eyes, "I'll travel…"

Lenalee nodded, "We travel a lot as exorcists but we never really enjoy that places we go to, considering we end up mortally injured each time we come back. Visit China the most…"

She remained quiet, "How about you, Link?"

The question startled the inspector, "What?"

"What will you do? Will you still serve the Vatican or will you...y'know..leave?"

Link blinked, "I'll…"

"Link will probably open up a restaurant!" Allen supplied cheerfully, "He likes cooking and stuff...and he's good at it!"

Lenalee giggled, "Really? We can open up a restaurant together, Link!" It was playfully, but Link just looked unnerved at his sudden part in the conversation. He was a CROW, and he didn't really want to talk about what he would do after _leaving_ the Church.

That's how you got in trouble with the Church.

"...sure Lee…"

"Lee and Link's bakery…" Allen mused, "Would that be the title?"

"No make it cuter," Lenalee interjected, "Like...Sugary Sweet or something…!"

"That's corny-"

Lenalee pouted, "Is not!"

"Is." Kanda interjected. Lenalee gaped at him.

"Kanda!"

Somebody interrupted, "Are you guys having a party without me?" They looked up, seeing Lavi in the doorway. He looked worse for wear, and looked tired. His hair, for once, wasn't kept up by that bandana.

"You're awake too Lavi?"

"Bookman holed me up in the Library, told me to rewrite the Records...I just got finished…" He sighed; it was getting exhausting being an apprentice.

Lenalee patted the seat next to Kanda and Lavi took it, "So, what are you all doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," Lenalee answered, "So..when the war is over, what will you do, Lavi?"

Lavi blinked, "Is that the conversation you were having before?" He wouldn't put it past them, they were so hopeful for the future. Lavi, himself, didn't really believe they would all live through it. More so, he worried for what side Allen would end the war on.

He wasn't supposed to care but...he _did_ almost die trying to save him from Road.

"When this war is over?" Lavi mused, "Well, I'm eighteen so when this is over I'll finally become Bookman." He revealed, grinning. He grinned because he actually felt sick to his stomach at the prospect.

He liked his job...but his heart hated it.

Then again, he wasn't even supposed to have a heart. He kept on smiling.

Lenalee gasped, "What, really?"

"Yeah! After twelve long years, I'll finally get to become Bookman. It's been a hard apprenticeship."

"That's cool," Allen laughed, "You _are_ really good at remembering stuff, Lavi."

The conversation went on, and the mood lightened until all five ended up falling asleep at the table. It had been a good talk.

~insertlinebreak~

"Tyki~you need to work harder at bringing Allen home!" Road pouted, despite the late time she was still awake. Tyki sat in a chair at the fireplace, reading.

"He refused, Road."

Road pouted, "Try harder, I _miss_ him!" It had been a whole three months since she got to see him. The ark had been so long ago, at least to her.

Somebody snorted, Tyki, "Is that because you kissed-"

"Shh!"

"Road, who did you kiss?!" Sheryl was on her, crying and wiping off her lips like Allen had just kissed her at that moment. Road was struggling to push him away.

Road sighed, "Daddy~it was just Allen! He's a member of the family now, you can let me kiss him."

Sheryl's eyes watered, "But...but...he's a dirty boy!"

"Oh daddy...at the end of this war, Allen will be my husband!" Road revealed matter-of-factly, grinning at the prospect.

Sheryl nearly fainted, and would have if it wasn't for Tyki snickering.

"Ending the war? This is the first time I heard you talk about it, Road."

Road shrugged, "We'll win at some point, and when we do…"

"You want Allen?" Tyki mused, "You only want to break him."

Road grinned, because this was obvious. Love was fine and dandy, sure, but Road wasn't all that capable of love. Oh, she certainly loved Allen but she wanted to break him more. It was a sick, twisted, sort of love.

"Of _course_ I do," Road agreed, "Allen has that effect on people…" She giggled, "You can love him...but his innocence makes you want to destroy it. I think that it's only fair that I do it for him...afterall…" Road suddenly stopped herself, looking sick. Remembering that time always made her feel sick.

She quieted, "nevermind…"

The concern in the air was immediately, "No, what's wrong Dreams?"

"Nothing...I just remembered something from thirty-five years ago…"

"The fourteenth?" Sheryl guessed, and shuddered," The memory that rest in that boy. When the war ends...I want to go as far away from him as possible. My Noah _aches_ just thinking about him."

"Nea wasn't bad, Daddy...I think he misunderstood…" Road reasoned and closed her eyes, "Anyway it doesn't matter what will happen for us when the war ends…" She drew in her Uncle close, practically ignoring her father.

"All humans will be dead anyway, right Tyki?"

Tyki nodded, "Of course, dearest niece…"

Sheryl leaned back, "That doesn't bother you? You are quite close with those three humans, right?"

"They don't really matter…"

Which wasn't true, but Tyki couldn't reveal that.

For the exorcists, the war ended with the Earth flourishing with humans. For them, the Noah, the war ended with humanity wiped out and only them standing.

At least Road would be happy.

It was a twisted sort of happy ending.


	2. Laugh It Off

Laugh It Off: "I'm happy I think...Nea is coming back...I should be happy about that right?"

~insertlinebreak~

Sometimes, it was easy to forget what happened thirty-five years ago. To Road, at least, it was. The Earl barely remembered Nea's face anyway and the rest of the newly awakened Noah had their memories suppressed.

Road, who survived, remembered everything. She tried not to dwell on it of course because that lead to insanity, and it was easy sometimes. If she tried hard enough, she could forget her former uncles and aunts and cousins and siblings and only focus on her knew ones.

She loved Tyki well enough, and her father Sheryl wasn't bad. If she thought of it that way, it was easy to forget. Road could happily say she was forgetting too, until Allen Walker controlled the ark and it all went to Hell.

Controlling the ark, the fourteenth's powers…

 _Ha, I really should've known_.

No one could be that forgiving and pure and not have some sort of darkness inside. For Allen, somebody who was precious to her, it was the memory of the person she also loved.

She tried not to let her uneasiness onto the other Noah though, especially when Nea contacted the Earl through the AKUMA. It was supposed to be a happy time, and Road was trying to be happy.

It's hard.

~insertlinebreak~

They were sitting at the dinner table when the Earl suddenly paused mid sentence. Road, who sat next to him, reached out to him, and nearly shrieked when both of her wrists got caught, He was squeezing them almost painfully.

"Did...you hear him Road?" He whispered almost inaudibly. Road was trying to keep calm, although she could feel bruises blossoming. They'd heal in moments, she reasoned and tried to breathe.

"Hear who?"

The Earl look manic, he looked terrified and confused, "Him."

"Millennie, he's dead." Road tried to soothe him, finally wrenching her arms free. The table was now dead silent, void of the mindless chatter. Road almost wished that they'd mind their own business because things about Nea didn't concern them.

The only people who remembered Nea was her and the Earl. Oh, and Wisely if you counted his abilities as Wisdom. Maybe Tyki was involved as well, considering he was Nea's polar copy.

"Is he okay, Road?" Sheryl asked.

"He's just being weird, what's new?" Devit snorted nonchalantly, but the hidden concern was there. Jasdero didn't even follow up, and that let the twins' concern show.

The Earl looked at Road, "He said 'Good Morning.'"

And that made Road freeze because there was no way in Hell that the Earl was imagining that. The Earl could barely remember Nea's face much less their hidden jokes and that was one of them.

Road's silence tipped off her uneasiness to the rest of the Noah. All Hell broke loose within the dining hall. It took Road three tries to get them quiet before she could finally relay the message.

"Haha...we're going to be getting a new Noah soon!" She smiled sweetly, "Well...sort of…an old Noah that is just coming back."

"Skinn?" Tyk guessed, and Road knew he knew no better. Skinn was dead, unlike the anomaly who just proved that he was still kicking.

"No," Road shook her head with a smile, "The Fourteenth."

The silence that followed was well expected and well deserved. Such a revelation couldn't be met with immediate joy, even if the Earl was bound to be elated. The tension was suffocating-nobody knew what to do.

Instead of trying to smooth the situation over, Road excused herself to her room

~insertlinebreak~

Wisely was much too observant, at least in Road's opinion. He was also too quick. By the time she got to her room(though too be fair she did take the long way) he was already there.

She expected Tyki to come check on her before Wisely did, but Tyki knew when and when not to ask questions and Wisely didn't. Wisely was too curious, and he didn't understand that Road did not want to talk about it.

He and Sheryl were alike in that retrospect. Like father like son she supposed. So, when he sat on her bed she was tempted to just stab him with her candles. She was a good little sister though, so she didn't. Instead she reopened her door.

"Leave."

"No." He replied evenly, and Road sighed. She sat on the rocking chair across from her bed. Wisely was a pain, and he didn't understand yet. The older Noah, like Lulubell and Jasdevi, understood that Road hated to talk about thirty-five years ago.

More so than thirty-five years ago, she hated to talk about her uncle, who killed everybody. It was one of those things you just didn't talk about. Sort of like if a family member was a serial killer(which Nea sort of was), people didn't really like to talk about it.

Wisely either didn't know or didn't care. Knowing his ability to mind read, he just didn't care.

Wisely was a jerk.

"You're upset."

Road glared, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Road sighed, "Please leave."

"No." Wisely leaned forward, "Why aren't you happy that the Fourteenth is coming back? Another private matter?"

Road nodded, "So, can we not talk about it?"

"No,"

"I'm calling daddy-"

Wisely laughed, "Sheryl-"

"You're supposed to call him 'dad' you know-"

Wisely ignored her attempt to change the subject, "Was told by Tyki not to bother you. You know how he gets, and you just up and left during dinner. Are you not happy?"

It was hard to keep up her front, so she gave in.

Road smiled sadly, "I'm happy I think...or at least I should be happy. Why wouldn't I? I haven't seen my uncle in years. I should be happy that Nea is coming back, right?" She rocked forwards and back, her hands digging into the wood of the chair.

"He's taking the form of Allen Walker, right?"

"I love Allen too...so I guess I'm getting the best of both worlds…"

Wisely was silent, "You're upset." He said after a few long moments of silence.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Refusing to go in circles, Road sat back and kept silent. Wisely never left her room that night, she stopped trying to kick him out. They sat in silence like that until they both fell asleep.

Wisely learned a lot about Road that night.

~insertlinebreak~

It was one thing saying Nea was fighting for control, it was another thing seeing it. Like when Nea talked directly to the Earl, that shocked her. Although Allen immediately gained control back, it confirmed everything.

Road tried to join in on the cheers as Allen's skin flushed gray. The laughter in the air rumbled the ground itself, almost like an earthquake. Shivers went down her spine at the sound of it because one did not forget that laugh.

"He's awakening!" The Earl led the cheers being the loudest.

"Finally," Road said, trying to sound cheerful-and she was happy. She was. Despite everything she did love Nea, "I thought it'd never happen!" She swallowed roughly.

Allen kept _laughing laughing laughing_.

Stigmata were faint on his forehead, and the Order only looked in shock. Road knew the drill, once Allen was done awakening, she'd go get him. He was bound to faint. Road knew it would.

Tyki and his relationship was a little toxic, although in Road's opinion Tyki was more suited to go get him. Jasdevi hated him, and Sheryl looked ready to rip him to shreds already.

"Are you ready, Road?" Tyki asked smugly, "It's refreshing to see the boy finally giving in."

"Yeah!" Road replied. In reality she felt sick to her stomach.

Nea didn't win full control that day, but they were sure that one day he would. Road, knowing full well that they just screwed Allen over, laughed. Things like this were never fair, but humorous in a way.

~insertlinebreak~

They retreated back home in high spirits.

"You seem happy." Wisely remarked, "I thought for sure you were going to have another breakdown."

Road giggled, feeling entirely not like herself. Maybe it was insanity(not that she was all that sane in the first place) but she danced around their gardens with a doll. The family was having lunch there.

"Y'know, sometimes you've got to laugh things like this off."

The day continued.


End file.
